For God's Sake Focus

Once, Twice, Three Times a LAYDAY!

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:23:49 GMT

I've got one thing to say.....
I FINISHED MY PUZZLE!!!!!!
Those of you who have been to my house over the last couple of months may have noticed the 1,000 piece, incredibly difficult but oh-so-cool looking Winnie the Pooh puzzle that stands approximately 9 o'clock from my Ninetendo 64 (Yeeaauuuh). Well .....I finished it...yep that's all I gots to say about that. Bye.

Anniversary!

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:18:50 GMT

Mom and Dad's 25th anniversary is comming up!
I'm going to try to make them a scrapbook and be a dandy kid!
FINALS ARE OVER! By the way, I've lost my social life and put
up signs for it, but I just can't seem to find it. If you find it, please
give me a call!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 16:48:20 GMT

It's Christmas morning and I'm waiting for the rest of the family to get up so I can be like the rest of material Americans and open up some presents! Merry Christmas my friends or for those of you who take another stance during this time of year, Happy Holidays! I hope you all enjoy the rest of your winter break. Don't worry, there's still New Years coming up so we still have something to look forward to before finals! (sorry about bringing it up).
Haha this is the card I got for my parents from Milly.

Hehe, well I thought it was hilarious..

Mucho amor mis amigos. Oh, and I almost forgot to thank all of you guys for the presents, I've been a good little girl and I haven't opened any of them up yet, unlike some people (*cough cough ahem..SARAH...*ahem), but I'm really looking forward to seeing all of the oh so wonderful things my good pals got me for christmas! sorry my gifts are small, I was a serious lame-o this year and waited untill the last minute to buy gifts which seems to be a strangely repetitive tradition for me. But hopefully I made up for them with the brownies I baked! (thank you Betty Crocker ;D) Well, I think I sense some sort of life coming from my parent's room, gotta go! Feliz Navidad!

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:36:48 GMT

It's seriously 100 degrees in my room and I'm wearing teddy bear flannel
pajamas from 3rd grade. Andrea's birthday is comming up this week.
I CALL THE LACTAID PILLS! You simply decide to get her the same gift,
I simply decide to kill you. 8-I

Here it goes again...

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 00:46:27 GMT

Alright, since everyone's posting there schedule, might as well go with the flow...

1. Math Ana 1/2                                            Aprato
2. US History H                                          Martin
3. Study Fall
4. Spanish 7/8                                              Ainsworth
5. Chem 1/2                                         Papadakis ( lord save my soul )
6. English Lang A.P                                 Kadletz  (HEY! that's supposed to be Copa)
7. Soccer Girls

Summer is officially over! Mrs. Peck fucked up my schedule big time.

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 14:40:44 GMT

ahh okay I don't know why I even bother but..ok

                             It's humiliating in every aspect so don't tell me it's for the better
                             Do you understand how embarassing it is to know that you can't even feed yourself and to know that when you tell the one person who you thought you could trust and you thought could understand, they go and fucking blab about your eating disorder to everyone
                            Do you understand how hard it is to constantly be monitered
                            or how dehumanizing it is when you can't even go to the bathroom or taking a stupid shower by yourself cause you were caught excercising once and all of a sudden you can never be trusted again
                            Do you understand how physically painful it is to gain 3 fucking pounds in a week. Cuz that's what happens when you loose all that weight and have to gain 20 pounds in the course of 7 weeks just to get to 100 pounds again
                          Do you understand that at least once a day your exhausted because your constantly eating, constantly gaining, constantly talking about your problems. Your anorexic, your anorexic, your anorexic thats all they say to me, that's all I hear.
                                Dr. Strober tells me I'm a messed up kid, I'm neurotic, insane...a mess. They tell me that I'm over-compulsive and that I have to constantly be monitered because I'm "always moving around" and because of the pile of food stashed in my room that I managed to steal from the table while the mental health worker wasn't looking
                            Do you understand how painful it is to eat a meal and have no choice but to suffer for something that didn't agree with you because your stupid mess of a body forgot how to digest that certain type of food because you deprived yourself of it for so long
                             You laugh because you realize how ridiculous it is that you are constantly given vitamins, pills, drugs of any sort because your just so malnourished.
                            But then again when you can't even make it to a class because you can't physically have the strength to walk up the stairs or when you pass out everytime you stand up too fast because your ortho-static, you realize you fucking need those stupid pills so that your body can function right.
                        Do you understand how humiliating it is to look at yourself in the mirror everyday while your gaining weight and know without a doubt that your fat because you are gaining weight, the proof is in the numbers that all of a sudden control what you can do. they get higher and higher and higher and higher and higher every single day.
                          It's funny that I actually decided to write this, especially since I'm not one for spilling my emotions on a screen. Maybe it's the fact that I'm jut so tired of people calling me and telling me that everything is going to be okay, or that I'll get through this because I'm strong, or that when I get home they are going to have a huge party for me. Im so sick of it. This is my surgery.... my real recovery begins with my first step out of this nightmare hospital, and if I have to fucking wear a sign the sign of a posterboard around my neck that says "Fuck off, I'm healing" so that people will understand , than so be it. I'm so tired, im just too tired and fed up to deal with people.

Wasted

Sun, 21 May 2006 16:18:06 GMT

Please Listen

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.

And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people - because G*d is mute, and he doesn't give advice or try to fix things. G*d just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn - and I will listen to you.

by Author Unknown

Everything's Iluminated

Sun, 07 May 2006 21:45:24 GMT

It's funny how someone can be so alive yet feel so dead.. yet that's what scares me sometimes....how far does it go until it stops?

Over My Head

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 03:19:14 GMT

I'm still trying to figure out how to post pictures because everytime I try my computer is all like .....no. So I'm like..... "computer! what the hell ya doin? " and my comp is like ......"nothin". Then I stop talking to my computer cause I realize that my bro has been listening in on my conversation with the computer and is thinking that I'm severely retarded. -_____- hahaha thats my window licker face. These are some pics that I wanted to post awhile back but I couln't, cuz I was too busy arguing with my comp.
I was happy cuz the day started out good, cept angry cuz I had conformation..
Yea...I sure was stoked about having some intensely fragranted oil rubbed on my face
in the shape of the cross... (Gabby's dad *slaps his face in shame the moment the bishop touches the forehead of his once Jewish daughter) SORRY DAD< MOM MADE ME DO IT!!!!!!!
Luckily I had a team banquet that day too cheer me up!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!ill miss you all.
Hahaha im in the middle of the twins.. can you see the resemblence? i swear we could be triplets!
Here is another pic.. Cat looks like she's
paying attention in that one.

so thats all I wanted to post ..oh yea and one more thing..I LOVE YOU ALL!
im in a good mood... and I got last place in mini golf cuz i had to leave and take my ulcer medicine..ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
SAEAH WALDORF I WANNA RE-TALIATION OF THOSE POINTS!!! do i get a deduction of a point for dropping you off
on the way home?

REDO

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 03:03:44 GMT

I HAD NO IDEA MY PICS WEREN'T SHOWING! AHHH WHY IS MY COMPUTER BING A FAG! SORRY GUYS! so im
just gonna do a new post cuz i feel in depth and I hate that feeling. so here are some pics that crack me up.

SNL

BUT you HAVE to get a BOOST! ahahaha.
sorry once again for the previous post.

Happy Birthday Laura!

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 01:03:20 GMT

Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to post... my mom's been hiding the digital camera from me so I didn't get anything remotely juicy until yesterday! I finally got some pics from the wedding, my cousin Alexa sent them to me. So on to the POST!

Hahahaha ...Alex...Hahahahaha...ahem..rite moving on...

I Liked my dress so i decided to twirl it.... didn't really work

My cousin Sylvia......even the kids in mexico are drugged! hahaha just joshin ya

ELVIA'S EXCITED FOR HER WEDDING!
Thats all I can do right now cuz my computer is being a fag. Later Pals

OWIE!

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 03:57:21 GMT

S P R I N G B R E A K ! ! ! ! !

My Spring Break would have been perfect if I didn't have to go to the stupid doctors office. I GOT A SHOT to prevent some freak disease known as menegitus (sp?) It hurt.. But at least I got a cool flashy band aid.
.......it was so worth the pain.....
Later Friends! Enjoy the rest of your spring break!

My FLASHY BAND AID!

My Sis before she went back to Berkeley..
i miss her..

What a Vacation!

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 05:19:31 GMT

By God! It's been a good while since I've posted.. and its kind of ironic seeing as I had quite an adventureful weekend! So I went to Mexico for those of you who know and actually got to miss 2 days of schoolio.. YAYAYAYAY! The wedding was pretty fun except I was passing out from tiredness after 3 hours of the wedding. The reception was from like 6 pm to 1 am in the morning. Man! THOSE MEXICANS CAN PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG! So although I sadly don't have any pictures to show you all, I did manage to work and post pictures.... but not of the trip cuz my mom and I forgot to bring the digital camera and do I ever wish I did cuz when we arrived home on Sunday my dad was so tired of walking that when we got to the parking structure where our car was, he rode the luggage cart all the way down the slope. It was probably the most insanely funny/brilliant/inspirational thing I've ever seen in my life cuz my dad's over the hill and Middle aged. just take a moment to soak that all in and now..pictures!

On Wednesday night I found out that we had a popcorn maker...I KNOW! A POPCORN MAKER! its ancient..

After jumping down excitedly I decided to make some popcorn...i was delightful. Then I went upstairs to
listen to some of my mom's 100 year old records!

JULIO IGLESIAS! "His 33 Years of Age"
then I got bored of the lame love songs and fell asleep. But in the morning i was awakened
by the beautiful sight of my cat. Lenny.

WHAT A STUD MUFFIN!
Then I decided to be creative and decided to take a black and white.

He is truly amazing.
I was able to spend some time taking pictures before my flight so I went outside to admire
the beauty of Foo Foo. My sisters bunny.

and take a pic of my eyes

then i got bored once again. Later friends.

MILDRED IS MY HERO!

Taylor cames up to me

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 00:03:47 GMT

Okay so....whats new in my life. My parents want me to do some random sleep away camp for music all the way in some random state like South Dakota.. SOUTH DAKOTA?!? so I'm still debating whether to do it or not, i'd actually prefer if it was in new york or somewhere more UNDESERTED for god's sake.

This school week has been going by pretty slow and jam pack loaded with tests and stuff. OH next year i can only take regular Spanish 7/8 or Spanish AP which is like WOWOWOWOWOW.. they aren't offering honors which I'm kind of upset about but I think I can deal for now. Tomorrow is GQ assembly and Powder Puff thingy. I'm trying to get everyone to vote for my brother's good pal David cuz he is a really good guy and although he may kind of smell and spaz out alot he is still a pretty chill person. so vote for David Tossolini cuz i don't want those other guys to win just cuz their popular. It's more important to be an awesome person then to look good. uh..yep that's it. OH and all of a sudden its like there is no more room on our lunch table! Like What happened there? hahah And I still need to type my essays for tiger and get rachel one of my Lucious and delectable low fat brownies. MMMM.later.

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 05:25:01 GMT

okay...where to start...
Yes, so I finally figured out that I am allergic to apples. YEA I KNOW! CRISPY, DELICIOUS, EVIL, JUICY APPLES! so it goes like this, I come home from a fun day of watching a movie with Hana and I come home late and decide to have a snack. BIG MISTAKE! I end up sleeping on the bathroom floor because I have to wake up every hour and throw up my guts. ehh yea, not fun at all. So here is my bittersweet farewell to apples (hehehe i made a little goodbye sequence of apples)

<

ahhh that looks delicious ...:( and last of all,,,

APPLE BOB! WAHHHHHHH!
Oh god i need to take a day off from that last one. Later.

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 18:16:35 GMT

Okay, so I've been asked my numerous people to create a live journal of my own so that I could keep in touch with my pals (hahaha as if I don't already) and can show ya'll what I do in my everyday life. SO once I get myself organized and get a damn photobucket I'll be able to post some pics. As of now the posts are kind of lame... but yea friend me and I'll return the favor. and i felt bad....so I posted a pic!

Ha that is what I call a random pic from the internet. Talk about hideous and awkward.